Mind Your Own God Damn Business

Look who’s posting again!

A stunning 33% of the comments I received on my last blog post were in relation to the video I attached to it of the kid freaking out because his Mom canceled his World of Warcraft account. He yells, he flails, he takes all of his clothes off – this guy is serious about throwing a fit.

I’ve actually watched that video too many times to count. I studied it the way a forensic scientist studies a charred, severed penis at the scene of a crime, or a man that googles “horse vagina” studies my site. The first hundred times that I viewed it were focused on trying to figure out if the video was real or if the kid was fucking with me. I mean, the timing was pretty lucky, it was a pretty much perfect shot of the entire meltdown, and it seemed too insane to be real. I remember being a teenager, and I’m familiar with that blind, white-hot rage when you feel you’ve been wronged by a parent and there’s not a fucking thing you can do about it, but I was never so angry that I started beating my head with my shoe or trying to ram a remote control up my butt. After thinking about it, I’m pretty sure that it’s legit. I watched all of the other videos on that user’s channel, and they’re all the same – that kid gets incredibly angry over nothing and usually breaks something.

After deciding that I think that the kid in that video is really that fucking crazy, I watched the video another hundred times trying to decide how I feel about that. I mean, the more I watch that boy completely lose his mind, the funnier it gets, but I also have to wonder if something is wrong with him. Do you really go that fucking nuts all the time over everything without having some sort of severe emotional disorder? Is he just crazy? Do his parents beat him? Am I going to end up seeing him on the news in 10 years because the police found a giant pile of dead bodies under his porch? If I’m so concerned about all of that, why can’t I stop laughing?

But it all came into focus on the last hundred views. First, I started having vague feelings of deja vu while watching the video – I couldn’t help but shake the feeling that I had seen it all before, or something just like it. Then I noticed a really quiet sound in the back of the video that seemed familiar, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was. I decided to look into it more carefully and combed over the audio of the video. I painstakingly analyzed every second of the track  for over three hours.

At first, I came up empty handed.

Then, I found something revealing.

I edited the video with the sound that I discovered hidden in the background amplified so it’s easier to hear. See if you can spot it:

Did you catch it? It’s subtle, but if you listen carefully, I think you’ll catch it: This kid is listening to Yippie Kayay Motherfucker, a new track on the Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza’s (TDTE) upcoming album. My best guess is that a car that was blasting it was driving by and got stuck at a red light in front of their house for a few seconds. The kid heard the dulcet tones of TDTE and did what anyone would do: Freaked the fuck out. It explains the feelings of deja vu: I had a nearly identical reaction the first time I heard that song.

And just like that, the riddle is solved. This kid isn’t some hot-headed lunatic who has  a long life of ankle monitors and court ordered anger management courses ahead of him – he’s just a teenager who’s having a completely reasonable response to a song that’s heavy enough to make the panties of every woman in a three mile radius spontaneously burst into flames. I’m honestly surprised that he was able to show as much restraint as he did – it wouldn’t have been unreasonable to hulk out and crash through a couple of walls Kool-Aid man style during that breakdown.

Please enjoy this video while you can – there’s a small possibility that I just thought it would be funny to edit the original video and a copy of that song together and re-post it to youtube. Because of that, there’s no telling how long it will be before the audio is removed or they take down the video altogether. I hope not, though. It took me an embarrassingly long time to figure out how to do some pretty simple edits to a two minute video.

Yippie Kayay Motherfucker.