Hey.
How’s everyone doing?
Me? Not so good.
Why, do you ask?
Four months ago, I wrote a post about how much I hated Brett Favre, because he retires at the end of every fucking football season, spends all off-season considering a return to football, and then comes back. It wouldn’t bother me, except it means that instead of getting coverage of sports teams that I care about, every media outlet that covers football spends every iota of it’s time and money covering Favre’s retirement and subsequent return to the sport. Maybe I’d like to hear about the Broncos loss of their quarterback, or the knee injury to their first round draft pick, or how their top receiver is demanding to be traded – tough shit. Instead, ESPN spends three months on a four hour loop of Mark Schlerith discussing the implications of either Favre considering retirement, Favre retiring or Favre coming back for another season, depending what time of year it is. I hate it. I HATE it.
Welcome back, you son of a bitch.
So imagine my complete and utter fucking dismay when I checked ESPN.com today and read that that little motherfucker came out of fucking retirement again today. Fan-fucking-tastic. There goes any chance I had to getting any coverage of my team’s collapse, it’s superior division rivals, or any form of football that doesn’t have to do with Brett fucking Favre.
Is this really that fucking difficult? Play or don’t play! I don’t give a shit either way, but commit, you son of a bitch!
Seriously. Brett Favre has really had to work for it to get me to hate him like this. He seems like a pretty nice guy, he was the opposing quarterback when the Broncos won their first superbowl and he’s a great athlete. I should like Brett Favre, but somewhere after season four of considering retirement and hour 46 of Merril Hodge arguing with John Clayton about how productive Favre will be this season or if this will be his last year, he spent the last of my good will towards him. I’ve gone from thinking that he was a great player and a lot of fun to watch to crossing my fingers and hoping that a linebacker will decapitate him. Although, I suppose that I should be careful what I wish for, because then I’ll just be looking at even more media coverage.
This is it. There will be no more national media coverage of any type of football that doesn’t involve Brett Favre until the season starts. Even then, they will spend hours after every game analyzing his play. If he does well, they’ll talk about his child-like enthusiasm for the game and how great it is for football that he came back for another season. If he does poorly, they’ll talk about how sad it is that a once great quarterback just can’t let go of his glory days and know when it’s time to quit. Either way, you’d better believe that they’ll be talking about it. A lot.
I'll see you in hell, Brett.
Brett: Play until you’re 65. Get a career-ending injury that will prevent you from playing football ever again. Win a superbowl and go out on top. I don’t give a shit. But whatever you decide, quit fucking wavering back and forth and hogging all of the resources of all of the national sports media outlets. How the hell am I supposed to know just how badly the Broncos are going to lose to the Chargers or how bad Kyle Orton is if all anyone can talk about is your shoulder and how wild it is that you’re playing for the Vikings?
This is going to be a long football season.
Okay, I lied. I hope that AJ Hawk separates his legs from his body.
#1 by Atkins's Wife on August 19, 2009 - 2:03 pm
I heard a snippet about how he came back to football because his daughter wanted him to win a Super Bowl.
That would be great if he stood a chance of actually winning a Super Bowl. I mean, the guy is pushing 40 and joining a team of guys he has never played with. I add that second bit because Atkins is very quick to point out that 39/40 were Elway’s top years. But Elway played with the Broncos his whole career, so it’s safe to say that he knew his team.
What are the odds that Favre is going to go to the Super Bowl? Well, let’s see. How far did the Jets get last year? Hmm. And the Packers before that? Well, at least they made it TO the playoffs.
Does Favre seriously, honestly, really think that somehow he can pull off in the next couple of years with the Vikings (who can’t even seem to make it into the playoffs despite having a great defense and Adrian Peterson) what he hasn’t been able to do since the 1996 season?
C’mon now!
#2 by myogdb on August 20, 2009 - 9:42 pm
Yeah, I’m torn. The Vikings seem like they have everything but a quarterback who can get the job done. I’m not sure Brett Favre is good enough to take them over the top, but he’s a hell of a lot closer than Tavaris Jackson. I think they’ll make the playoffs, but I agree that a superbowl would be a reach. At the same time, since I don’t have a whole lot invested in the Vikings or the Packers, I’m kind of looking forward to them going at each other. If Favre could win a championship with the Vikings, it would be a pretty hardcore slap in the face to the Packers. It’s an interesting story line. We’ll see if he’s still got the touch even though he’s about one million years old in football years.
#3 by Atkins's Wife on August 20, 2009 - 11:05 am
Oh, I see. My last comment wasn’t “cool” enough to be approved.
#4 by myogdb on August 20, 2009 - 9:38 pm
Oh, it’s very cool. I’m just lazy lately.
#5 by Bibi on August 21, 2009 - 5:32 pm
I know nothing about football, but after 3 minutes of his sniffing and whining I wanted to strangle him. Can please someone who has editing skills cut out all the parts where he doesn’t talk?
Why do they even let him go on for 10 minutes?
#6 by myogdb on August 21, 2009 - 6:00 pm
EXACTLY.