I’ve set my website to allow images to be viewed even if you’re not actually on it. I’ll warn you that there’s a possibility that you’re going to end up seeing someone’s asshole. I did it in part because almost everyone who reads this does it with RSS feeds, and also because the bandwidth I was losing due to what is apparently a world wide David Lee Roth fetish that I didn’t even know existed before making the mistake of putting his name and a few of his pictures in a post seems to be dying down.
Seriously. There is apparently a very strong demand to see naked pictures of David Lee Roth, because I can’t remember a single day since putting up that post that it’s not the number one search query that lands people on this blog. I’m not quite sure why so many people want to see what looks like the crypt keeper in assless chaps with a blond wig on, but they do. Multiple times per day. Trust me.
And seriously. That’s what he looks like. Look at this:
I'm hot for SCREECHER!!! EEE-HEE-HEE-HEE-HEE!!!
I’m on day 18 of no video games. During the week, it hasn’t been too much of a problem, but during the weekend it drives me nuts. I’ve been handling it in two different ways.
First, I’ve been watching videos of games being played on youtube to help calm down my shakes and sweating. Speaking of, I stumbled on a site called “Gaming In the Clinton Years”. It’s a site full of videos of games from, as you might expect, 1992-2000. If you spent any amount of time playing console games during the 90′s, I highly recommend it. It was fun.
Second, I’ve been …obtaining them. Games I used to like when I was younger, games that are 10 years old that I never played, games that I’ll probably have to purchase a new computer to play…I am doing my level best to completely fill up my hard drive with ISOs. I see this ending one of two ways: Either I’ll end up deleting them once I have the choice to play games again and the forbidden fruit syndrome isn’t there to make me want to play Barbie Horse Adventures and That’s so Raven, or January 1st, 2010 will be the first day of a three month orgy. I guess we won’t know for three hundred and forty seven more days. Damn it.
My time away from video games has been harder than I thought it would be. In between pacing around and looking longingly at the Wii, I’ve had some time to think about what I want to do with all of this recently opened up time and how to motivate myself to do it. Strangely, I’ve been having the most success with this while I’m exercising.
I just bought a new pair of running shoes last week. I know, exciting, right? They’re Nike +, which means that I can put a little chip in them and then hook them up to my iPod and keep track of my mileage, speed, etc. When I get home and sync my iPod, it uploads all of that information to Nike’s website and I can view it as exciting graphs and charts. From there, you can set up goals and challenges for yourself or to compete against other people. It’s kind of like battle.net for running.
It just occurred to me that some of you were having sex and passing your classes in highschool, so let me just throw this out there: battle.net is the online service Blizzard uses for people to play their games against each other online.
This led to realization #1: I will perform any task with great enthusiasm, no matter how shitty it is, if it somehow involves electricity and graphs. I’ve actually gotten a lot better at running over the past year, making me hate it much less, but it’s still by no stretch of the imagination “fun”, and yet I find myself extremely excited to go out and run a few miles so I can come home, upload it to the website and view it as a little green bar on a graph.
I’m pretty sure that this translates across all of my interests. If a company were to release a line of enema bags that electronically monitored how often you were using them and what was flushed out, I can almost guarantee that I would be filling my butt with coffee three times a day and checking my results online every ten minutes.
The second realization was about my longer runs. There’s a route that I take where I just run up to the end of reservoir road. If I turn around there, it’s 4 miles. If I hang a right and run the rest of the route, it’s 6. I’m always sick of running when I get to the turning point, and usually thinking about turning around and hacking two miles off of my run.
Then, I ask myself “Is that what a man would do?”
I always say no and then, cursing under my breath, I limp the full six miles.
The problem is that I only seem to have this response when I’m running. If I’m in a situation where I’m not wearing a pair of running shoes, I almost always respond to adversity by taking off my pants and firing up my gameboy (NOT an effective tactic in the classroom, BTW). I need to figure out a way to get that voice into my head when I’m not running.
So that’s that: I need to find a way to incorporate electricity, graphs, and stupid machismo into all of my daily activities. Or Civilization 4. I really want to play some fucking Civ4. And Warhammer. And Starcraft. And Metroid 3.
I need to stop, or I’m going to lose it.
Anyway, one of the things I wanted to do with my new free time was post more blog entries (I realized that I haven’t been doing nearly enough damage to my reputation lately). I’m shooting for one a week.
And I apologize for this one. I’m not sure that it’s even interesting to me. Either way, it’s done.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to try to convince myself that I should do something besides drink beer and watch football all day.
It’s what a man would do.
Here’s a video of Dillinger Escape Plan. Believe it or not, this is a cover. I think 3 of you will know what it is, and Dan is the only one who will think that it is cool.
Maybe it’s time to admit that I have a crush on David Lee Roth, too. I don’t seem to be able to make it a week without mentioning him or putting up a photo of him. It’s what a man would do?